Patience

so, it's been a month to the day since i last said somethin.  and trust me, i have plenty to say.  as of my last entry, i lost my job, gained a very handsome prospect for a relationship and finally got my crate full of things from my old life.  so i've jus been kinda chillin.  on a sabbatical of sorts.  i could complain about how much it sucks bein out of work, but i'm not.  i could rave on and on about my new beau, but i'm not gonna do that either.  i could even complain about tryin to decompress from sortin through all the boxes and bags in my crate.  but y'all don't wanna hear any of that, right?


so as i've been sittin here for the past month, i've been doin some introspection and jus takin stock of myself, as a person.  i've rediscovered that i have an amazingly supportive and understandin woman for my mother.  i've learned that my sixteen year old "baby" sister is funny and smart and interestin at times, as well as a typical moody teenager.  my family is warm and open, old friends are pretty much the same as they were when i left home.  and while some of the landscape is different, it's still home, sweet, home.


i'm not worried about workin.  i know that i'm employable and when the right job opens up for me, i'll get it.  i haven't exactly been slouchin around all day, eatin bon bons and watchin reruns on tv.  i have been to the grindstone but with the local government here seemingly on the very verge of collapse, there's been a hirin freeze within most of the departments.  but, there's always the hotels.  or restaurants.  or jewelry stores.  or any of the other tourist-oriented venues here set up to make money.


i'll find somethin.  or like last time i looked, somethin will find me.  isn't that usually what happens when you're not lookin?  somethin totally unexpected or unassumin or wonderful jus kinda falls into your lap?  sounds like my new beau . . .


but y'all don't wanna hear about that, right?

Tested

"no good deed goes unpunished..."

if you're ever tried to help someone or tried to find your way out of a difficult situation, you may have experienced this.  it seems like the more you try to be a good person, the more things seem to go wrong for you.  whether you believe in a higher power or not, whether you believe in karma or not, whether you believe in coincidence or not, there are times when everything that can or will go wrong does.  that doesn't mean, however, that you stop being the person you know you are and give in to despair or cease to do the things you know to be good or right.  it is in times such as these, that you cling even stronger to your morals.  that you believe even more in your higher power.  that you search even deeper within yourself and find the resolve to see the good works you began through to the end.  it will not be easy.  you may not have help.  you may not even be acknowledged for your efforts . . . 

but, you do it anyway.

in the end, you will be a stronger person.  more resolute and determined to make a difference in the lives of others.  more faith-filled and faithful.  the things that happen to us may or may not have been the result of something we did.  for every action there is an equal reaction, but the key is to be proactive instead of reactive.  we need to realize that we have been and will be tested so we can have a testimony.  so we can share our experiences of how we strengthened ourselves in order to offer strength to others.  we go through the fire to show ourselves approved, to be cleansed and purified.  refined.  you may feel like a piece of coal now, but remember that when pressure is applied to coal, it creates a diamond.

be prepared to watch me sparkle and shine . . .