Happy 2015

happy new year!

a new year is a chance for new beginnings and new adventures.  a time for new alliances, alligences and for makin all your plans and aspirations reality.  it's also the perfect time for new friendships and relationships.  even if you're jus renewin an old connection or tryin to make some new ones, there's jus somethin about the afterglow from the holiday season that gives people that extra somethin they need to venture out there and jus . . . try.

so, i've been hangin out a little bit more since my return from workin away for the summer and i've noticed that i'm bein noticed.  it's comin from all directions, all at once, in places and in circumstances that i never would have paid attention to before.  it's flatterin to say the least, but i have begun to wonder: is there really somethin different about me? hmmm

anywho, as of this moment, i'm still single.  i've been living back home here for three years now and i have to say, it's not as bad as i'd imagined.  i have met a few possibles but story of my life, they remained jus shy of becomin more.  i guess it's jus one of those things where you sit back, take a look around and wonder jus what in the hell happened? i mean, this is before my trip.  i thought i was doin pretty good.  but bein away, even for only a few months, has revealed things about myself to myself that i really should have known and been practicin all along.  i didn't need an online article or some celebrity written book to tell me how to have interpersonal relationships or intimate ones.  it appears all i've had to do is be who i've always been.  walk taller, hold my head higher.  listen to my heart over the clamor of those who assume they know what i want or what's best for me.  there was someone i forgot i knew when i got back here.  she got lost in the shuffle of tryin to remember how to be happy with me.  she forgot how to take pleasure in simple things, to enjoy her own company.  how to jus be comfortable in her own skin.  but, i found her.  buried under all the things that made me unhappy, the things i was doin to make everyone else happy was smothering her, crushin her under the impossible weight of people pleasin.  once i separated myself from the noise and confusion and the constant tuggin of bein pulled in every possible direction, i had no choice but to sit still in a quiet place and then i could hear her.  and she told me the things i forgot i knew. 

now that i've had a few more months of listenin to her and actually doin what she says, maybe that's the difference that everyone else is seein.  i'm different to them because i'm free.  i do what i want, with who i want, when or where i want and it's exactly what i should be doin.  i'm happy, less stressed and way more relaxed than i've been a long long time. and that's jus fine with me . . .

I'm Back

Happy 2014!!!
This year I affirm:
1. To be More Positive
2. To be Kinder to Myself and by extension, Everyone else
3. To treat Everyone else the way that I deserve to be treated
4. To say what I mean and to mean what I say
5. To keep in touch better
6. To be More Patient
7. To be More Open to New Experiences
8. To be Serene
9. To Drink more Water
10. To Have more Faith . . .
These could be called Resolutions, but this is my list and I like Affirmations better. What do you Affirm to do in 2014?

yes, i realize that we still have a few weeks to go yet before 2015 gets here.  but seein as i jus had a birthday, i say Happy New Year to Me!  so many things have happened, not jus since the last time i was here but also since i wrote this list.  and i have to say that i have actually accomplished all of the things i put here.

*wow*

so, let me catch you up.  since my last "visit", i got settled into the new gig pretty good.  i spent the summer gettin comfortable with the duties and my coworkers.  was able to reacquaint myself with bein back home fairly well.  by the time our tourist season rolled around in the late fall, i was confident enough that i decided to try my hand at goin to Alaska for their season come summer.  i made it a personal goal that i hoped to be able to accomplish before maybe lookin for somethin new.  so when they sent out the papers for interested parties, i quietly submitted my request, crossin my fingers with hope.  

i was about to go to lunch when my supervisor called me to say they needed to meet with me first thing the followin mornin.  i jus started smilin because inside i knew i was goin to Alaska. when i met with her and the HR director, i got my confirmation and roughly a month to prepare.  that meant tryin to decide what to take, a schedule change to work in the flagship store so i could get used to the increased pace and workload of the Juneau store and jus mental preparation.  goin to Alaska meant i would miss Carnival and a few other events over the summer that i was interested in but eh.  You been to one Carnival, you pretty much know what to expect so I'm sure I didn't miss much.  besides, how many people do you know who can say that they've been to Alaska?
  

i have to say that Juneau was what i expected but also not what i expected.  i knew it would be cold.  i knew the days would be longer than bein at home.  i didn't realize that it would be so beautiful.  i was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to get along with the new staff and how much downtown Juneau reminded me of home.  of course there were times when things didn't go smoothly but they were few and far between.  i believe because i went with an open mind that my overall experience was pleasant enough that i'd be more than happy to return.

so now, here i am.  back at home, back to work, and yes back at square one.  i met a few people but those encounters aren't really worth mentionin.  i guess because i've been more focused on bein a better me, i jus didn't have the time or energy for those interactions.  and i'm even a little more skeptical than i was before i left.  now that i'm back from AK, it seems that I'm gettin a lot of attention.  i'll admit; i have changed.  my shoulders are back, my chin is up, my smile is brighter.  i've heard that i seem different.  that somethin's changed.  perhaps that may be true.  or maybe i'm jus rediscoverin someone that i thought i'd never see again.  there is more pep in my step, more sway in my sashay.  i see them lookin and it makes me smile, both inside and out.  whatever it is, i'm stickin with it.  i'd be lyin if i said havin all eyes on me isn't kinda nice . . .