Undecided

so, i've been back home for almost two months now.  i've been out with my sister a few times, strolled around solo a few times and i must say, the only eye~candy to be seen are when there are cruise ships.  seriously.  even if i was considerin the whole datin thing, how in the world am i supposed to be inspired if there aren't any prospects?  i used to laugh at my sister all the time when she would lament this to me.  but i don't think i really believed her.  i thought she was just exaggeratin it.  now i see for myself.

*sigh*

so, while the thought of even bein friendlier has crossed my mind, i must admit i'm havin second thoughts.  see the problem with bein back home and wantin to date is, well, there are quite a few problems with this.  first, the pickings are uber~slim (read married).  second, the guys are uber~young. third, the ones that aren't too young are loaded with issues (read kids, baby mamas, girlfriends, wives . . .). and finally, if they aren't a combination of the above mentioned, then it's someone you went to school with who acts like they are still in school and thinks you don't know anythin about the things i just said. 

*shakin my head*

now don't get me wrong; it was by no means any easier for me livin in the states.  but by bein back at home, i have cut my chances at meetin someone i'd even consider by more than half.  livin in such a small geographical location leaves much to be desired when one is on the lookout.  and some of us refuse  to settle or share.  and that's pretty much what your options are here.

so what's a girl to do . . .

One of those Days

have you ever woken up and before you even get out of the bed, you just knew that the day is gonna suck?  well, today kinda seemed like it would be like that, but i decided i didn't want that kinda day.  yesterday was okay; i actually went to work and spent the rest of the afternoon with my mom and sister.  we had lunch and watched a marathon of the "Ghost Whisperer".  marathons are exhaustin, even if it is a show you like to watch.  by the time we got home, i was tired and just felt kind of bummed out.  not too sure why the melancholy, but it was there and it went to bed with me.  so when i got up today, i felt like i didn't want to get out of bed.  i just wanted to lay there and wallow. i have no idea where the pity party came from.  no clue as to why i suddenly felt all 'woe is me'.  so i closed my eyes, took some deep breaths and said ' let's try this again, shall we?'

*breathe in, breathe out*

so after goin to church, i'm here and although i can still feel the sourness lingerin, i'm not gonna let it ruin the rest of my lovely day.  it's gorgeous here; the sun is shinin, the waters are azure blue and life is good, even when you don't feel like it is . . .

Quality Time

yesterday, i had planned to do some writin.  with all the free time i now have, i figured hey, why not? so i was sittin here, fiddlin on the computer (read tweetin and vistin albums on facebook) and as soon as i was about to get to work, my baby sister comes out of her room.

"wanna go with me today?"  i look around to be sure that A: i hadn't dozed off and B: that there was no one else in the room
"um, where are we going?"
"to sing."

if anyone knows me, they know i love to sing.  the most shockin thing about this whole situation was the invitation.  see, my sister is still in high school.  and while my yearly visits have always been a pleasure, i think she's still gettin used to the idea that i'm not leavin this time.  she is still processin the fact that i won't be packin up my bags to head off to the airport come sunrise.  so i took her up on her invitation to go sing.

we spent most of the day drivin from house to house.  turns out, the singin i was invited to do was to go carolin.  to go singin with my sister and our church's youth group to some of the elderly that used to attend our church.  and while you may be thinkin, "but CHRISTmas is loooong gone already, this here is paradise and yesterday happened to be a local holiday.  tradition dictates that for twelve days after CHRISTmas, families still exhange gifts, which represents the trip of the Magi to visit the baby Jesus.  the twelfth day after CHRISTmas is called "Three Kings Day" for that reason.  so i got to see more of my island home than i have seen in a very long time, i got to sing CHRISTmas carols all day and i got to spend time with my not so baby sister.  and it was all her idea.  how nice was that?

Workin

yesterday was a very productive day.  i was online pokin around for a little bit, then i decided to get some writin done.  i checked some emails, did a little browsin at some sites i haven't been on in a while, then i had breakfast.  i got my little notebook out and popped in my zip drive.  i sat for a few minutes to focus, to get my mind back to the place i'd left off from the day before and then i was ready.  i played a round of Zuma first though, hee hee.  but once i started typin, the words just flowed.  they usually do when i get on my keyboard.  one of the best things about bein home is i'm like in chill mode.  there is no hurryin or scurryin around, no real deadlines or major projects needin my immediate attention.  so even if i decide to spend all mornin on a beach somewhere, i still have the rest of the day.  or vice versa.

*sigh*

why didn't i do this sooner?

Daydreamin . . .

and the sky is pearly grey.  it's should be foggy, it should be windy but this here is paradise and the grey won't last forever. 

the sun will come out, maybe tomorrow.  maybe in an hour.  or by the time i get done here.  who's to say?  i have no control over the weather and even less control of how or where my thoughts will take me. 

so i sit, i watch the clouds rollin over the hills, over the waters in the bay, out to the open water. no rhyme or reason to where it came from or where it's goin.  kind of like my train of thoughts today. 

but that's fine.  because this here is pardise.  and the grey won't last forever.

but who's to say?

AEW~ CT

Happy New Year

so, it's 2012.  and i have embarked on a new adventure.  right before Thanksgiving, i relocated back home.  and while to some that may not seem like such a big deal, i haven't lived at home in 12 years.  yeah, exactly.  so now here i am in a sort of familiar place, with very familiar people, relearnin how to live on "island time".

the pace here is slow compared to livin in the city.  but this is not a complaint; more like a sigh of relief.  all the hustle and bustle of the states  has melted away and while i miss certain conveniences, the pros outweigh the cons for me.  i can only speak for myself about bein glad to be back.  most people were like, "you came back here?" or simply "why?"  funny, but those were the same questions my friends in the states or other people have asked me whenever i told them where i was from.  people are hilarious.

so, here i am.  i was able to spend Thanksgiving, my birthday, CHRISTmas, and New Years with my family.  somethin i haven't done consecutively in 12 years.  seems to me like this year is off to a very good start . . .